Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
