I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
