why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
