i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize