So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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