You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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