My nipple is on Facebook.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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