This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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