I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
