I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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