Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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