During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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