Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
