Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh god it's open bar.
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