I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
