I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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