im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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