GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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