I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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