i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
