Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
