What a fucking waste of an outfit
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
