She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
