distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
