At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
this is an emotional support booty call
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
