I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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