Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
