East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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