I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
