he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
