Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
