: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm always down for nudity.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
