I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
