i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
