I'm going to jail i love you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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