dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
