Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
