Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
