I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
