I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
