I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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