So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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