you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
