Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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