we're making bets on your personal life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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