The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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