nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
