Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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