You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
