i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
