I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
