I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
