i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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