You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, he came in my armpit
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
