ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

  Fav 30 2866 1238

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

  Fav 14 3093 1015

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

  Fav 4 1633 3023

  share tweet
  

• (365): View more from

  Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

  Fav 13 4992 1221

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"

  Fav 19 2902 962

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy

  Fav 6 752 1482

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him

  Fav 1 642 1286

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

  Fav 4 1036 715

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life

  Fav 5 1158 629

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.

  Fav 0 862 398

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.

  Fav 1 370 232

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.

  Fav 1 33 54

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  ANTI-GAME

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I am so proud to call you my friend

  Fav 0 43 21

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I'm really stressed out right now.

  (1-518): View more from New York

  I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".

  Fav 0 38 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (631): View more from New York

  Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.

  Fav 1 39 55

  share tweet
  

Randomize