I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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