I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
