"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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