just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
