Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
