I need help removing her.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
