May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
